A Birthday "Boy"

I was 18 weeks pregnant when we had an ultrasound to learn the gender of our baby. I was nervous and excited and, to be frank, I wanted a girl. I was terrified of having a boy and what it meant to be a mother to a boy. I grew up mostly with my sisters and I am really close to them and my mom. I get the "girl thing" and don't mind all the fuss, and frills and drama that come with it. That is what I knew and that is what felt safe. I had no idea what I was doing as a potential parent but I thought, "hey, at least with a girl you'd have a pretty good idea". 

Then at the ultrasound the tech turned to us and said, "It's a boy!". I was stunned for a minute and then overwhelmed. And then I cried for about a half an hour after we left the room. Fear of the unknown, and feelings of inadequacy flooded me and I didn't know what to think. I just couldn't imagine what the heck I was going to do with a boy. 

And then, suddenly it all stopped and there was no more shock. I just felt peace and an overwhelming feeling that all was right. From that moment I never looked back and having a boy seemed so perfect, so exactly what was meant for us.

And now I just sort of chuckle at myself when I think back to that time before the ultrasound, as I now wonder "What the heck DON'T you do with a boy?" And how could I possibly, ever, in a million, bazillion years, ever live without a little one in my life?!

Oh the things we learn.....

Today our baby turned two.

It's crazy to think so much time has passed and yet it feels like we were never without him.

I don't think words could express how much we love being his parents and  every day we just feel so much gratitude for the life we have and this special little spirit that has been entrusted to us. He might wear on my patience at times, I'll admit......he is two after all....but the darling words, the little hand reaching up for mine, the slobbery kisses and "I luv u" 's, the giggles, and the fun just drown out all the rough spots throughout the day and make every day better than the one before.

Cal, you are a joy and I feel privileged to be your Mommy. You have the greatest personality and I love and admire the tiny person you are. You are tender and sweet and wild and rambunctious. You are so much fun to be around and there is never a dull moment with you. Thanks for always keeping me on my toes. Thanks for reminding me every day how even when you think its impossible, you actually can love someone even more than the day before. Thank you for being my best little buddy. I will love you forever and ever.

XOXO- 

Mommy (& Daddy too of course! :) )

More birthday pictures coming soon!

And just a few fun things about Cal right now that I've been meaning to write down (I know its wordy, but it's for me, so feel free to skip on past.....):

- He is saying so so many new things every day right now. His vocabulary is just exploding and there are new works every day. Just the last week or two though he has started saying "I love you" and it is so sweet. Except, Cal's version is "I LUV Oooo!" He tells his Daddy and I a lot now, but he also tells lot of other things too.....Like the sand crabs when he is throwing them in the ocean, or the potty when it is flushing.....Makes me smile every time. Somehow, I still feel special when he tells me.

- He just started saying the prayer at bedtime or dinnertime. He is so sweet and tries to be so reverent folding his arms and kneeling down and sort of closing his eyes. :) He will listen to what we whisper in his ear and always repeat the last word so sweet and gentle. He loves going to church and always tells us he learned about Jesus there.

- He is getting better at being polite and tells me "tank Oooo" about a hundred times a day. I love it.

- As sweet as he is he can also through one mean tantrum. Luckily though, he knows "sorry" like a champ and we use this word about a million times a day now. :) Too bad, sorry doesn't always put mom's broken vases back together. 

- He LOVES playing hide and seek and just squeals with laughter whenever we "find" him. The best part of the game is that we trade off hiding and he always hides exactly where we hid the last time. He will sit so so still and not make a peep. So cute.

- He loves seeing the moon and Dan always says he wants to go there someday because whenever he sees it, he points and says, "Moon. Go" and tries to jump up and reach it with all his might.

- He loves playing with music toys and balls. He could pound on his drum for an hour a day and be happy as a clam. He could also play "catch" and "throw" with me forever. He also loves his choo choo trains.

- He is mimicking everything we do right now and the other day I was doing the dishes and I looked down at him standing by the open dishwasher and he had taken out a butter knife and had his binki set on the door and was sawing at it like he was cutting vegetables for dinner. 

- He loves going on walks, loves playing at the beach (especially with boogies boards--He runs and flings himself onto them all the time just on solid ground), being outside, running/and racing us, watching movies, reading books, playing with his friends and especially his cousins, and he finally loves snuggling. I definitely take advantage of that last one.....

We are loving this age and just can't get enough of this little man!